Amartithi Pilgrimage: Baba, Books & Bow
Meherabad,
Ahmadnagar (Maharashtra ) is supreme pilgrimage
spot connected with the Avatar of the Age, Meher Baba1 . From
Lucknow (UP), the journey was long, expectations high, but going to tomb of an
Avatar a – God- Man, silently stirred our inner self like a school child
going to his home with his annual exam’s report card in which he had a poor
grade. We were proud of our fortunes on one hand and feeling ashamed of
our worthiness on the other.
Our getting up very early in the morning of
29th January‘2002, boarding on the train at 6.30A.M, cheerful exchange of
greetings and finding ourselves as a Crowd of total 35 persons ensued some
enthusiasm in us. Shall we not call it the emancipation of
“mass-consciousness”? Some sociologists and psychologists might term it
as “mob-mentality”, but vibration of thoughts directed towards a common Master,
His constant remembrance, common purpose and goal certainly created a peculiar
resonance. The train pushed off leaving the echoes of our hailing “Avatar
Meher Baba Ki Jai”.
Unconsciously
we became selfish in finding coach and berth to suit our fancy. All of us
were having reservations and no one was without a pre-allotted berth but our
humane folly eluded us to take more comfortable berth than a mere comfortable
one. Being given the option to choose, we tried to apply it in the most
fancied way. Mr. X at berth number 7 was fond of Mr. Z whose berth was
number, say 34; and berth number 8 was allotted to Mr. Y. So, Mr. X
requested to Mr. Y to take number 34 and leave 8 for Mr. Z. I was fanaticizing
as to what geographical area and clan I would opt if God would provide a
similar option to be born on earth.
The morning of
30th January found us
still in the train hunting for tea etc. at Bhusawal. The train was
scheduled to reach Ahmadnagar around 12.30 P.M. The stoppage there was of
only two minuets. Our complete conscious being was now concentrated on
boarding off the train safely without leaving any one and anything. And
so, it came true. We dismounted from our coaches and watched with dismay
the train still at rest. For the first time I reflected upon my
foolishness to make haste. I was burdened with two heavy packages of
books. They were, as I found later, not only physical loads, but also
subtle loads on my ego.
Repeating His
name in reverence, we hired a tempo and reached our cherished spot,
Meherabad. Within 15 minuets, our leader brought our boarding-cum-lodging-cum-Darshan
badges. Ladies and gents were housed separately. We had prior
knowledge about this arrangement and made up the baggage likewise. Yet,
the gender segregation was a bit inconvenient to the persons like my wife and
me who habitually were adapted for the “division of duties” between us. I
am responsible for all the expenses while she is always in-charge for deciding,
“what to wear, eat and buy”. I resolved to take bath and change. And so
was everyone. The streams of people were pouring in and everyone wanted
to take a bow- down at Samadhi (Tomb) as if to put his or her signature of
presence/arrival. I too along with one of my co-traveler set out for
Darshan.
The boarding
place (at lower Meherabad) was about a kilometer from the. Near the Samadhi (Upper Meherabad ) variety programs were being continuously
performed on a wonderfully made stage with all modern stage arrangements.
I had number 7
as my “Darshan” token. As soon as I reached upper Meherabad to take a bow as my
signature of arrival before the date 31st commenced, I heard the announcement
saying that currently “Darshan” queue was not token wise and at 11.50 P.M. the
tomb shall be closed for “Darshan”, restarting token wise Amartithi “Darshan”
after midnight. The queue was in zigzag manner; long temporary lanes made
of tied logs and ropes volunteers standing all over to check trespassing or any
mischief whatsoever and to give drinking water, to take care of ill persons,
children, old and crippled.
I calculated
that if I join the queue now (at 2P.M.), it should take at least 2 hours to
reach the tomb. It seemed wise to join the queue now so that arrival bow
may finish before nightfall and I may be able to enjoy the enchanting stage
programs whole night after amply feeding myself and relaxing a little. My
team leader during handing over our tokens had congratulated us to get token
number 7, as this is the magic number known to be Divine. As I pen these
lines, I reflect what the Divinity had for me in its magical store. It is
better to leave this story of lucky number 7 because I am sure that the reader
shall find it anyway. So, I thought myself clever and joined the
queue. Another tale is also hidden in this description; and that is about
the “load of my ego”. As already mentioned that I had carried two bulky
packets of books. My wife was publisher, myself a translator (in Hindi,
originally written by renowned Dr. GSN Moorty in English). I had my ego
inflated to pride over the thought that I brought readable material for Hindi
readers. The author had sent me a massage that I should get the book
inaugurated by the chairperson of the trust, Mr. Bhau Kalchuri, and start the
sale.
I was in the
queue for about one hour and suddenly Mrs. Nandini Mathur, my sister, told me that
Mr. Bhau Kalchuri2 was
presently on the stage and she had talked to him and the book was to be
inaugurated immediately. Now this was a test for me. I was in the
queue to bow down at Lord’s Samadhi and nothing should have distracted me in
leaving the queue. My clever mind invented a manner to kill two birds
from a single stone. I asked one of my colleagues to bring the
pre-prepared packet for inauguration; requested Nandini, who was wearing a
volunteer badge, to reserve my position in queue and arrange so that after the
inauguration I may re-join the same position. She did arrange for
this. Not only this, she placed the packet over the Samadhi, a ritual I
had longed for, then escorted me to the stage, in ceremonial inauguration and
finally back to my place in the queue.
Whole drama
took just 20 minutes or so. I was happy and thought the episode as Divine
Will. I, in my folly, could not decipher that my contentment was more
because the book was inaugurated than to reach back in the queue. I now reflect
that a quiz was posed before me; I had to opt for - Baba or Book!
I, however, had opted the book.
Anyway, a
loving father does not fail to point out the mistakes and provides tools to
correct them. Here, I was at the council of the great Awakener of our
times. How could He ignore the sleeping ignorance within us? He
says, “When the real light comes, the darkness which you think is light,
disappears; for seekers of Truth I am the Sun giving them light and love.” How
could I evade His light? It is bound to illuminate our inner darkness
unfailingly. So, I took the first bow at 4.30P.M. And I was
delighted.
Now I was free
to move along and enjoy the stage programs. But this enjoyment proved a
mirage. My book was on sale and I had to run around to ensure the
arrangements. My colleagues contacted every bookstall, and other stalls.
No one was ready to keep my books for sale. Only one person, who was
stallholder and close friend of the author, agreed to keep a few copies.
The book was on sale at his stall only.
I remained swinging
between “Book & Baba”. Undoubtedly on the pretext of visiting “Baba”,
I had been nursing the longing for utilizing the opportunity to show off my
translation skill. The result was before me. Astonishingly even at
that moment I was unaware of all these details, which I am writing now.
Thus, instead of enjoying the stage program that was spiritually brimming,
highly charged with subtle love, I was marketing His Silence (I had translated
the book, ‘The Wonders Of Silence’ in ‘Hindi, as Mown Ke Ashcharya’).
From the time the book was inaugurated and I performed the
ritual bow (4.30PM.), till 10.30 P.M., I don’t remember having been able to sit
quietly. By that time, my wife and other co-fellows had brought necessary
warm sheets and some eatables too and they had occupied a place near the stage
for all night stage show enjoyment. When, at 10.30 P.M., I approached
this spot a few youngsters requested me to stay there so that they too may go
for dinner and do some errands. In other words, I was asked to keep a watch
over the belongings granting them the freedom. I consented to their
request and sat there making myself comfortable. Since I landed Meherabad
this, I think, was my single good juncture at ease. I wish to discredit
myself even for the first bow I made to Him. I now remember His words,
“Real happiness lies in making others happy”. I recollected all His
sayings about helplessness. I was searching for my worth until now. I
found it. To work as a security guard for the belongings, was my only
worth here. The moment this feeling poured in me, I felt complete calmness
within me, as if the thought itself descended in me as His Grace. A
strange inner Silence overpowered me and now all my senses were focused on to
the stage performances. I got myself deeply immerged into His
all-pervading blissful presence.
At midnight of 31st January/ 1st February‘2002, announcement was made that all
holding token number one to join the queue for “Darshan”. Now Amartithi
had begun. The stage program too warmed up with devotion. I
effortlessly was composed. Everything except Baba was present for me in all His
glory, beauty, and bliss. As the time passed on and token number 3
holders were announced to join the queue, I calculated, that one batch was
taking approximately 70 minutes. In this speed, the turn of our number 7
token would come at about 5A.M. When token number 3 was current, some of
my colleagues reached me. One Mr. D. who was of my age group and we had
befriended each other, told that now he too is in a mood to witness stage
shows. Music, dance, drama, and nearly all aesthetics are more enjoyable
if you have some one on your side to share the emotions.
I felt myself doubly fortunate. I was relieved from
security guard duty and was free to sit in the auditorium with a like-minded
friend. We settled ourselves at the front seats and our emotions
sublimated with the blissful aura of the Ancient One.
At 3.30 A.M. the ladies comfortably settled near our
belongings, sent me massage conveying that they are going to wash and bathe so
that they may join batch number 7 in time and I was asked to keep an eye over
the luggage. This time I was happy to do this duty. At 4 A.M. we ought to
have left the seats to join the queue. At that time, number 5 was queued
up. But since the women had not returned as yet, I was to be a security
guard for the luggage. This I took for granted. Women members had not yet
returned. Moreover, even if they do return they all were having token number 7
and someone had to be there on guard duty. Well, why not me? And it
came true. Number 7 was announced and I could not join it. Here it
may be noted that on the previous occasion, when I left the queue for the
inauguration of the book Mr. D. was just by my side. I had left the queue
then joined again and took our first bow together. But this time number 7
was lucky only for him, not for me. I kept musing as to why? I bade
farewell to arms (arguments) and was at ease to place all the musing to His
Marzi (Will). Thus, the lucky number 7 was indeed lucky for all. For
those who took bow at the prime time (Brahmvela) of Amartithi, and for me too
to whom the power of Divine Will was very vividly demonstrated. The
greatness and beauty of whole episode was that even for a moment I did not have
any guilt consciousness, yet my fault was made crystal clear to me. I
silently took a mental note that the key word was not repentance but the
repetition. I may not repent for my fault but I must not repeat it.
Token number seven holders were enjoying the blessed
“Darshan” queue except for myself. A feeling of utter helplessness became
acute and upon being intensified by emotional music and lyrics of
the stage, it flowed out as soothing tears.
Through the haze of watery eyes, I kept staring His
photograph on the background of the stage and His smile seemed to gesture His
Marzi (Will). To sum-up, as a holder of Token number seven I was bestowed
not merely a bow to His tomb but the massage of the Will Divine.
When token number 9 was queued, my wife came and explained
that they were quiet late in bath etc. hence, came hurriedly and joined number
7. She and other members too were feeling sorry for me, but I assured and
reassured them all that even being able to breathe near His abode is sufficient
for me. I must confess that secretly I was nursing a hope that all day up to
midnight of 31st was Amartithi, and I might get a chance or a fluke of chance
to take a bow sometime during that period.
Now the dawn had tinted the eastern sky purple, and again I
was eagerly expecting to meet - not Baba, but Dr. Moorty. He had conveyed
me his arrival at Meherabad on 31st. Dr. Moorty is one of the fortunate few
favorites of the Avatar in His lifetime. Now, of course, I was keen to
meet him, but this time not for the books, just for an embrace. He asked
me about the progress of sale of the books. I reported him. After knowing
that I could not keep, the books save at one stall, and only a few (about 45)
copies could be sold, he seemed concerned. I knew he was only concerned
because of my money being blocked. It is, therefore, I assured him that I
didn’t had slightest worry about unsold copies. I dared not to tell him
about Divine Will because I was confident that he knew it more than
myself. It was one of the most memorable times, which I was fortunate to
spend with him. I sat by his side at the plinth of Baba’s seclusion room
facing wide-open windows of Avatar’s Samadhi in complete silence.
Many persons, usually officials of countywide Avatar Meher
Baba Centers, kept flowing in to embrace him and pay regards. He used to
meet them all calling their name lovingly, asked about the welfare of their
siblings, and occasionally introduce me to them as Hindi translator of his book.
I knew that he was doing this only to kindly project my identity thereby
boosting the sale of books. I had nothing to say or ask. I was just
immerged in the whole scenario of the Samadhi, Baba’s room and nearness of a
veteran Baba Lover. Occasionally he would ask me to call this or that
person in sight, and I complied his commands. The whole affair lasted for
about two hours. Then being called upon for lunch, he departed, informing
me that he would come again at about 5P.M. I too searched for my colleagues
and soon got busy in meditating upon books.
What a wonderful and lovely Avatar is Meher Baba!
Although I had enlightened experience about “Baba v/s Books”, yet I did not had
any guilt feeling. The only difference between pre and post experience
was that, this time I was consciously meditating upon books but with a great
degree of detachment. Most wonderful aspect was that I was able to do it
effortlessly and happily, more happily that on 30th and more efficiently
too. I consoled the boys and girls who were campaigning the sale and
asked them not to worry at all. If all the books are not sold out, we
shall carry them back to Lucknow
and they shall be sold in due course.
If I don’t mention the main proceedings of Amartithi, my
whole narration would be worthless. Main proceedings started at 11 A.M. and the
chairperson, Mr. Bhau Kalchuri, delivers a short welcome speech informing the
importance of this date, and a few reflections of his association with Baba.
His speech is beyond description not for it’s content, but
for its affect. His words are not to be understood, but to be
realized. First he said, quoting Baba, that all material world including
the form and attributes are the product of a big but real Zero. Since 1
succeeds zero and 9 precedes it, both of them (1 and 9) cant be opposites of
zero. Opposite of a Zero had to be a nonzero, i.e. Absolute. Thus the
phenomenon of death, which inhales the material body, a form, is merely
returning into nonzero entity. Thus, an Avatar’s nonzero state must be
nothing but immortality. Hence, this day, when Baba dropped His material
body is called The Day Of Immortality that is ‘Amartithi.’
Bhau’s words to this
affect are the words of a realized soul. Since realization is more
important than understanding, therefore trying to understand this may be
futile. Although the process of understanding is a mental activity and
all the actions including mental ones must be regarded as the product of the
same Divine Principle, yet it (the mental activity) must be armed with
imagination too. Reason can answer every question, but imagination shall
have to ask for it. Mental reasoning is apt to misguide us because we can’t
expect our imaginations to be up to the desired mark. Bhau ji, after
elaboration on Amartithi, drifted to throw some light on Baba’s teachings. Bhau
ji is amongst a few students of Baba’s Tough Syllabus of Practical
Spirituality; as such, his version of the teachings is noteworthy. He told
that in spiritual domain, there could be two ways of living life. First
way of life is “Ideal” the other “Natural”. Baba demonstrated “Natural”
way of life with truth and honesty. This is sometimes called “simple”
life. Astonishingly all, with pin-drop silence amidst about thousandths heard
his speech for over 30 minutes. Neither a single person coughed nor a
single baby cried. This was not a miracle, but mesmerizing effect of the
words of a realized soul.
After the speech, some foreigners and a few of Meherabad Baba Center
As the clock struck 12, he hails Jai Baba, and the Silence
pervaded. Some had closed their eyes in posture of meditation while some just
looked around. I kept staring at Baba’s photo, and began Silent
conversation to him with open eyes. I tried to communicate with Him about
the recent episode of His Marzi (Will). I also tried to get some signal
about His further Marzi (Will), but He did not tell me. Then I said, “Thank you
dear Baba” and by that time, 15 minuets were over. After this, the
recitation of His Arti started. Since it was to be repeated in more than
seven languages including English, French, German, and Parisian, it took about
half an hour. The Main function was over and the stage performances
restarted; this time with a new zeal. I waited for about half an hour for
thinning out of the gathered mob, and then I set out in search of Dr.
Moorty. Not finding him, and hoping to meet in the evening as he had
said, I came and joined my friends.
Every one was feeling pity for me that I was not able to bow
at Samadhi on Amartithi date. I was not vocal about what I perceived.
Until the evening keeping a portion of my attention to what was going on the
stage, I was roaming about, meeting acquaintances, chatting about stage shows,
occasionally sipping coffee. It may be remembered that since I reached
Meherabad on 30th noon until this time (31st, 3 P.M.), I did
not sleep. Previously while joining the queue for first bow, I had
planned that my Amartithi “Darshan” would be over by 31st ,4 A. M. and
then I shall go to sleep until evening. But now that was not possible because I
was bound to keep watch as to when token system is declared withdrawn and I may
take an Amartithi bow. The speed of the queue was very slow because of
unexpected rush. Even now, token number 12 was queued. Somehow, I
collected the information that about 27 batches (tokens) are still waiting for
their turn. It meant that queue system was going to be continued until
late night. With sleepless eyes, weary robes and heavy heart I placed my
fate of being able to have “Amartithi Darshan” at His Marzi. In fact, there was
no other option at all for me.
It was afternoon now. Variety programs of drama, magic
show, dance, and Qawalis starting from 6 P.M. onwards were announced. Mr.
D, whom I now envied, was with me. Dr. Moorty had expressed his desire to
meet him. I, therefore, had managed to call him. Both embraced each
other and talked. I was saying to myself, “Look here! Mr. D neither
had translated a book, nor he craved for ritualistic “Darshan”; yet, he was
able to take his first bow, then Amartithi bow at exact epoch and after
comforting himself a bit, dressed coolly evenly poised, now meeting Dr.
Moorty. Conversely, I was sleeplessly still waiting for “Amartithi
bow”. Was it not a matter of envy? Mr. D informed me that he had
bought four cassettes of Baba songs, four posters, and a book of Prof.
Hazra. I inspected them all with great admiration and asked that how he
selected the book His quick, plain and simple answer was that he liked the
cover page photograph of Baba and without any further consideration about the
material inside, he bought it. His utterance poured deep in my
heart. Here was the example of simplicity and honesty. I remained
engrossed in reflections for a long while.
The night was nearing. As I kept on shunting to and fro
from the spot near the stage to the stall where my books were kept on sale, my
ears were tunes for the stage melody and eyes searched for any occasion to
trespass the token-queue. Thus, my all five material senses, viz.
touching, tasting, seeing, hearing, and speaking were deeply engaged, and this
fact kept me still wide awake. Only one personal care I took for myself,
and that was to rush to lower Meherabad and take a hasty bath and change my
clothes. The stage program was again at it’s full swing and I settled for
to enjoy it forgetting everything. At about 9 P.M. Mr. D bade Good night
to me and said that he was going to have a sleep. I silently bowed to his
simplicity and truthfulness and gave him cheerful farewell. He is a heavy
weight diabetic person yet brimming with lively life. From stage flowed
enchanting Bhajans, Gazals, and Qawalis, while the token queue kept flowing 16
onwards. At 15 minutes to midnight, my ears were hammered by the announcement
that queue system was being withdrawn. I jumped on my feet and hurried to
Samadhi queue. Only after a few minutes, I was taking off my shoes to
enter into the Avatar’s abode. I took a bow and cried like a baby.
Volunteers helped me out and I saw the clock showing 11.55 P.M. My whole being
was overwhelmed. I, after all and nearly 36 hours of sleepless wait, was
able to take Amartithi bow.
The morning was near and in a brief conversation it was
decided that we should leave upper Meherabad only after a good-bye bow at about
7 A.M. so that coming again after packing our baggage would not be
necessary. I too had to wind up my bookseller’s account. At 7.30
A.M in the morning, I took three bows one after another, then rushed to the stall
for accounting. In all only 65 books were sold, i.e. less than even one
third I brought from Lucknow .
Silently, once again, I saluted His Will and came down to lower Meherabad.
My whole being was overwhelmed. I, after all and
nearly 36 hours of sleepless wait, was able to take Amartithi bow. This
saga of Meher Baba, Books &
Amartithi Bow shall ever remain afresh in my memory; by penning it down I have
tried to tell my tale of inflated ego, His blissful Ways in helping us to
workout it. This travel account is not merely from Lucknow to Meherabad, but from Books to Baba
via an Amartithi Bow.
Safarchand,
Lucknow
Footnote
references
1 Refer to ‘Meher
Baba, His Life, His Messages, & His Followers’, Ray Karkhove, Avatar‘s
Abode, Australia 1998
2 Chairman, AMBPPC Trust, Ahmadnagar (Maharashtra )
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